Friday, January 23, 2009

WHEN YOU DIVORCE ME, CARRY ME OUT IN YOUR ARMS

nice reading ... nice story .. 

for those who are going to (or have already) get married or divorce...
or have the other man/woman in their marriage life. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
  
  
WHEN YOU DIVORCE ME, CARRY ME OUT IN YOUR ARMS
  
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.
I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
  
  
This was the scene of ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water:
we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb.  She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
  
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
  
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream
of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
  
Dew said, 
"You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs."
Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, 
"Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls."
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.
  
  
I moved Dew's hands aside and said,
" You go to select some furniture,O.K.? I've got something to do in the company."
Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind
although it used to be something impossible to me.
  
  
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon.
Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
  
  
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, 
"Suppose we divorce, what will you do?" 
She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
  
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried
to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
  
  
Once again, Dew said to me, 
"He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." 
I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate anymore. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. 
"I've got something to tell you," I said.
  
  
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had
to let her know what I was thinking. 
"I want to divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly.
  
She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, 
"Why?". 
"I'm serious." I avoided her question.
This so-called answer turned her angry. 
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, 
"You are not a man!".
  
At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
  
  
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. 
But I could not take back what I had said.
  
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
  
  
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast.
When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: 
she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and
in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. 
  
Her reason was simple: 
our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
  
  
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, 
"He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"
  
This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, 
"I remember". 
"You carried me in your arms", she continued, 
"So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce.
From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning." 
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
  
  
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. 
"No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words
more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
  
  
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when
I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, 
"Daddy is holding mummy in his arms."
  
His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with
her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, 
"Let us start from today, don't tell our son."
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.
  
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the
fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There
were some fine wrinkles on her face.
  
  
On the third day, she whispered to me, 
"The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my
sweetheart in my arms. 
The visualization of Dew became vaguer.
  
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful
while cooking, etc. 
I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
  
  
I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. I said to her, 
"It seems not difficult to carry you now."
  
She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then
she sighed, 
"All my dresses have grown fatter." 
I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not
because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain.
Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. 
"Dad, it's time to carry mum out," he said. 
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to
come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly,
as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
  
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.Our son had gone to school. She said, 
"Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."
  
I held her tightly and said, 
"Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, 
"Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."
  
She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. 
"You got no fever." 
She said. I moved her hand off my head.
"Sorry, Dew," I said,
"I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the
details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our
child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."
  
  
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and
drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to
write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, 
"I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."

Thursday, January 22, 2009

3rd grader's chatting

My colleague has a 3rd grader sonIn vacation, he lets his son get online every night from 7 to 9pm. During that time he chats with any of his classmate. He has to type Chinese characters using pinyin (Chinese spelling). In the 2-hour-chat, they exchange maximum around 10 sentences! LOL … !

It takes a big effort for a 3rd grader to type in Chinese. After successfully sending a message, he will wait for his friend, who surely takes similar effort to reply.

When near to 9pm, his father advised him, “Go to wash and brush your teeth. After that you can continue for a while.”  When he returned, his friend hasn’t posted out any reply .. still in typing mode. LOL … !  

He has a cousin who is fewer years older than him. She doesn't like chatting with him because of being have to wait for long time for each reply. Whenever he excitedly chats with her, she mostly replies him with a “Yupe”. 

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

studying ?

pak mertua dan rak baju

habis membeli rak pakaian dari internet. siang ini diantarkan. sebelum2nya juga udah ngasih tahu ke suami ataupun mertua soal ini.  

saat diantarkan mertua yang terima barangnya. juga udah aku kasih tau sebelumnya via telpon. 
lalu pak mertua telpon ke kantor dan aku kasih tau untuk bayar RMB 30 ke supir pengantarnya. eeeh... di telpon pak mertuaku bilang gini, "kamu tuh kurang kerjaan!" (dengan nada yang sangat gak mengenakkan terus telponnya ditutup ama dia).  gua dah membayangkan mak mertua juga pasti idem, di rumah pasti ngomel2 .. bilang beli barang gak berguna. 

asli .. langsung bikin bad mood deh!   

ini barang kalo beli di carrefour, harganya sekitar RMB 500, which is masih kudu cari pengangkut. sementara aku beli udah berikut ongkos kirim, habisnya  RMB 400. (menghemat sekitar Rp 125 ribu).  lagian, toh bukan beli sesuatu yg gak berguna. 

lagian di rumah juga ada kembarannya yang udah dipakai 3.5 tahun sejak Crystal baru lahir. ini dibeli karena anakku kan nambah satu. 

kok reseh? 

'sick' taxi driver and nice taxi driver

20-Jan
we took a taxi from the airport. 
firstly we drove to my friend's apartment on FR road. 

driver: then where will you go after that?
me: to QY road.
driver: i should turn right here if we go to QY road.
me : you can drive to her apartment first. later on you can turn back. 
driver: i won't turn back. 
me: (*began to feel annoyed*) go to her apartment first. it's raining, she will not get down and walk that far.  
(*there was more than enough space for his taxi to make a turn outside the apartment. and we continued to my apartment*)
me: please enter the gate. okey, stop here.  (my apartment was about 10 meters from the gate)
driver: cheeeeh.... why not stop and get down on the street outside. (with unfriendly and annoying voice). 

it was still raining. if i got down, i still needed to cross the street, with my bags. should i? i said nothing, paid, got my bags. i was tired and didnt want to ruin my mood by having  an argue with a mentally-sick-taxi-driver.  May God bless him! maybe he had a quarrel with his wife at home and had bad mood. 

*emang minta digampar2 nih supir*

2-Jan 
we went out with the kids. it was public holiday. there are thousands of people everywhere. almost impossible to get a taxi. while i carried Crystal who fell asleep and my husband carried Angie who also fell asleep, we walked separately. a kind taxi driver saw my husband and stopped. he was going to pick up his wife because his wife  couldn't get a taxi either in NQ area. he drove us home before picking up his wife. May God always bless this kind hearted man!  


there're still a lot of kind hearted taxi drivers. 
i saw several times in tv, some taxi drivers found package of money around 200,000 yuan or so. they submitted the money to the police. 

Friday, January 16, 2009

impian masa muda

mertuaku dua-duanya berasal dari keluarga petani, tumbuh dewasa di kampung. Bahkan suamiku pun dilahirkan di rumah kampung, bukan di klinik atau di rumah sakit. Sempet melongo juga pas tau pertama kalinya. Habis lahir, barulah dibawa ke klinik. 

FIL ku sejak lulus SMA, masuk tentara kelautan selama 18 tahun. Setelah itu bekerja di China Post sampai masa pensiun tahun 2007 lalu.  MIL karena nikah, makanya ngikut aja ke mana FIL pergi.

Ada 2 adik dari FIL dan 3 adik dari MIL yang masih tinggal di kampung, hidup dari bercocok tanam dan beternak ayam secara kecil-kecilan. kemudian, karena kampung mulai diserbu pendirian beberapa pabrik, ada juga yang mulai menjadi buruh pabrik. 

itulah sebabnya, kami sering dapat supply gratisan ayam kampung, bebek, serta sayur mayur, kacang tanah, kacang polong, cabe, bawang putih, dll .. yang bebas pestisida.

Untungnya punya sodara2 di kampung, kami dapat rutin mengkonsumsi telur ayam kampung. Tiap pagi telur rebus adalah sarapan tetap setiap orang, dari yang tua sampai para pasukan bodrex. Tiap pagi bisa mengkonsumsi 5-8 butir. 10 hari pun sudah 80 butir. Makanya FIL ku sekali beli telur bisa 200~300 butir, langsung dari kampung. (*dahsyat yah?*)

di samping itu, dapat menikmati udara desa yang bersih dan segar kalo cuaca lagi cerah.. gak terlalu panas kala summer atau gak terlalu dingin seperti winter. waktu paling ideal adalah saat musim semi, di mana2 bertebaran bunga2 kuning (coleseed flower?) atau kala musim gugur, saat padi siap disemai. 

yang ini awal spring 2005, kala sedang hamil Crystal sekitar 6 bulan. 


Kampungnya hubby juga gak jauh2 amat, sekitar 2.5 jam perjalanan, dengan bus umum + bus kecil. sekitar 1.5 jam dengan taksi.  

Katanya, FIL-ku punya jatah tanah di kampung. Aku dan hubby berandai-andai, kalo kami tua dan sudah pensiun, pengen tinggal di kampung, bercocok tanam untuk keperluan diri sendiri. ini juga impianku kala masih remaja dulu (*duileee...!*) 

kata hubby lagi, setengah tahun dalam tiap tahun pengennya bisa buat tinggal di indo. Hahahhahaa! Masih lama banget booww !!!! itupun kalo dikasih rejeki dan umur panjang. Tul gak?    

Thursday, January 15, 2009

peanuts and a girl





















foto 1) habis berantakin kacang (hasil kebun oom yg petani)
foto 2) lagi beresin setelah disuruh  
foto 3) 4) lagi ngambilin makanan burung (padi) dalam kaleng 

interesting words play



can you see the optical illusion?




the absence of good is evil 




we LEARN when we TEACH 





when you look through ME you will see YOU! 

Crystal batuk dan demam lagi

hari Minggu lalu Crystal sakit lagi. batuk dan demam. hari senin dan selasa gak masuk TK. 
terus karena males makan, mintanya kalo gak bubur yah mie-kuah-tomat. masakan yang mudah dan cepat bikinnya. masaknya sekalian buat Angie juga.  

sementara Angie juga batuk dan hidungnya meler-meler, tapi gak pakai demam. makanya 2 malam maknya kurang tidur terus. 

salah maknya juga sih ..  ngasih makan chips (semacam taro atau chiki gitu deh). langsung panas dalam dan batuk. 

dulu waktu Crystal baru umur 1 tahunan, pernah dikasih nyicip pop corn. tahunya habis tuh maknya menemukan ada darah kering di upilnya. terus batuk2 juga. nyesel deh. habis itu gak pernah ngasih pop corn ke Angie. kalo ke Crystal juga jarang, kalo pun diberi makan pop corn itupun dibatasin banget. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

enjoying privilege

i was buying a ready-packed soya-milk this morning. another buyer said to the seller, "Hey, i was before her." 

i was in an extreme hurry and didn't pay attention to 'who come first'.  

my 108 bus was already in the shelter which was 20 meters ahead. once i got the soya milk, i ran with high speed (without having breakfast) to catch the bus.   

*i'm so sorry to the complaint-lady*

not bcoz i didn't want to queue. indeed there was (and there is) no queue line everyday. the seller has no time to observe who come first who come last. she's just too busy, selling several items: porridge, soya milk, yoghurt, milk, bread, steam bun, shiu mai, etc. when she takes the soya milk out from the box, she will take several at the same time.   

i am a regular customer. every morning i put 1 yuan on her carriage:  "1 cup of soya-milk, no plastic bag please." the lady has known my behavior so well that she could react faster. maybe that was the most reason that i had enjoyed a special privilege. :-)  


there is a supermarket, Joy Mart (He Jia Fu) nearby our apartment.  usually there will be a queue at the cashier. there is another cashier at the cigarette-wine-tea counter: "I only buy 1 item. could i pay here?" i know so well, the answer is "Yes." and never forget a sincere "thank you!"  


not only enjoying .. i'm also generous in giving or asking privilege to others.  
the most simple one that all of us can do is giving our seat on the bus/train to the elder people, pregnant women, people carrying children in arms, disabled people. 
when you see nobody giving seat, while you are also standing, you can politely ask (*with a smile on your face*) : "sorry to disturb, could you please let your seat to this old lady? thank you so much." 

i bet people wouldn't resist you! 
be nice and people will be nice to you too! 
this will make our life beautiful and meaningful.

sulit melupakan

you still stay in a small corner in my heart.
it's so hard to totally forget you. i think i never cant. 
you often come into my dreams. 

last nite i dreamt about you again. 


Friday, January 09, 2009

autumn outing (mid-Oct-2008)


Left to right (all names were told by Crystal). the name in bracket is a nickname.

1st row – sit: Su Zilong, Han Yifan, Qian Daliu (Liu-liu), Sun Chule, Yi Sirui (Rui-rui), Ge Zhiyi, Jin Haige, Sun Bowen, Jiao Yufeng, Le Hao, Liu Yixing, Huang Yuxuan (Dou-dou)

2nd row – kneel: Sang Ruopeng (Peng-peng), Liang Yaoyu, Yi Ning, Pao Paochen, Wang Xingyu, Huang Zhihan, Chen Weiye, Crystal, Mong Zhihan, Guo Zhian ('Lil Tiger)

3rd row – stand: Wang Minghui, Liu Tianming, Hu Zhuyan (Yan-yan), Wang Zhiru, Wang Xingyu, Wang Yuping, Ren Shaoyang (Yang-yang), Xu Guojing (Mao Mao), Pai Mingtao, Hu Yiyang, Yi Yating, Yi Kexing, Hu Jixiang    

Teacher: Ms. Chen, Mrs. Shen, Mrs. Cai

Peng-Peng is our neighbor, who is 15 days bigger than Crystal

Lil Tiger has a cousin, names Big Tiger in Smarty’s class.

There are 2 kids with same name, Wang Xingyu. 

Thursday, January 08, 2009

mimpi apa

adaoww... mimpi apa dirikyu dapat dua rejeki nomplok dari bos. (*sampai bingung dan langlinglung*)
Tuhan, lagi jaman susah gini kok masih baik banget? padahal absen gereja anakMu ini bolong terus. 

what language ?

Crystal speaks mandarin (chinese) at home. 
i did try to teach her speak bahasa indonesia and sing indonesian songs. singing is okey. but it's quite difficult for speaking! everybody speaks chinese with her. (*the other problem is i am not consistent enough*). 

i think it might be difficult for her, because we also need to teach her English. 3 languages at a time? it could be too hard and confusing for her. i dont want to be too ambitious to let her speak (learn) 3 languages at the same time. 

any better suggestion / experience sharing  .. how may i teach my kids to speak bahasa indonesia, while they also need to learn English?  when will be the right time? 

emang suka bikin terharu

having daughter like Crystal, often makes me feel so touched. sometimes during bed time, she asked, "mama, have you covered yourself with quilt?" or "has Angie been well covered with quilt?" 

about 1.5 years ago, while i was having my second pregnancy, when i bathed her, she said,"Mama, be careful, it's slippery here, just now i poured water on the floor." or the other time while i played with her, suddenly she said, "Mama, lie down here, you are tired and there is baby in your belly." 

last night when we already lied on bed, 
Crys : My good mama, you are beautiful. (*touching mom's face*)
Mom: (*smile, feel so touched*) Nooo... mama is ugly.
Crys : mmm... nooo... you are beautiful!

maybe all kids are like that, in their eyes, their own moms are beautiful. (even i'm not in the category of the beauty)
  

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

lil crow loves crow mama



after watching the flash with Crystal, 
mama : if mama is sick, will you catch worm for mama? 
crystal: how could you eat worm, while you are not crow? 
mama : hoho... so will you pour water for mama if mama is sick?
crystal: yes, i will also feed you with bread 
(because i like to eat bread, and Crystal knows it). 

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Crystal read to Angie

video was taken when Angie was 5.5months & Crystal was 2yr 10.5mo.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

our 2009 new year holiday

happy new year to you all !

it’s Chinese tradition to clean the house (and everything) before Chinese lunar new year. we were going nowhere but cleaning our house during 3 days new year holiday. My mom-in-law, hubby and myself cleaned the house with Crystal and Angie playing around.


Crystal

… stuck on leaving room practiced to write numbers and do simple math, almost all the time! I stopped her but she said she wanted to do her homework. She called it ‘homework’. Well, actually nobody gave her any homework. she now can do math (using her fingers) like 18+5, 16+4, etc. 

On 1-Jan, after lunch, which she didn’t like it so much, she said she wanted to go to KFC. We brought her to KFC just last Sunday. I said, “lunch time was over, KFC was closed after lunch time. Let’s see whether they open during dinner. But mama has to ask first, because it’s new year holiday, probably all the employees are going home for holiday. If they are closed, we’ll go by tomorrow.”

When almost dinner, she said, “you said we would go to KFC for dinner.”

Mama said, “Mama told you that mama had to call KFC office first, to check whether they are open.”

I sms and called my friend, Erica, for a short drama. Hahaa.. sorry my dear! It was just too late, too cold outside and also too tired for all of us to go to KFC. So Crystal talked to the “KFC’s employee”. And agreed we took her to KFC the next day (2-Jan).

At midnight, Crystal sang an English song for mama, “happy birthday to you.. happy birthday to you …”

So on 2-Jan, we took Crystal and Angie to KFC and Pizza Hut for lunch, and bought her a Mickey-Minnie mouse balloon. She was happy! 

The other time, she modified a lyrics of a spring song like this, "butterfly lady doesn't fly and come here because it's winter time. little rabbit jump, jump, jump back home." 

 

Writing numbers…

when she wrote a “3”, usually it was slanted a bit. So she turned the book a bit during writing, so the 3 wasn’t slanted anymore after she wrote it. but sometimes she could write it well. 

At a beginning, she drew 2 circles for writing an 8. But now she could write the 8 straightly. 

tonite, when she saw Smarty writing a 7, she said, “This is not correct. This way, like this  … you copy it.” (she wrote a 7 and asked Smarty to follow by writing/tracing on it)

After she wrote some pages, she wrote a 100 as scoring for herself.

  

Angie …

… was buzzing around like a bee .. zzzz…zzzz…zzz… !

played with her sister’s crayon or color pencils, took things out from the kitchen cabinet or toy box, brought to living room, bed room, dining room .. left them all the way .. everywhere. 

Sometimes brought shoes to other people, fell on the floor and couldn’t stand up by herself (because of wearing too much cloth), sit on the potty (with diapers on), wanted to bring the potty to toilet, wanted mama to carry her up, called mama.. mama .. grandma … her nose needed cleaning coz she got slight flu, poop, … wanted to have milk, water or snack, threw or picked things to and from the trash bin .. tried to climb a plastic chair, or turned it upside down and tried to sit on it….

when I returned the things to the cabinet, she would again take it out, bring it and leave it any where. Oooooh hooooo ….!

So .. besides busy cleaning the house, I was also busy with Angie.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

人体使用手册 ... 求医不如求己

Here are  two Ebook websites:

《人体使用手册》:

http://www.kaoyao.com/fun/Human.pdf 

 

《求医不如求己
http://www.54md.com/book/catalog_9.html .